Growth Through Vulnerability
Why Vulnerability Is a Superpower
My friend,
, wrote something the other day that made me think:Saying "I don't know" is a sign of seniority for me.
It’s impossible to know all of the things in Software Engineering. So not knowing something is no issue at all.
I’ve been saying ‘I don’t know’ a lot lately. I started a new job recently. Not only do I need to learn the codebase, but also new packages and libraries.
It’s hard to admit you don’t know something. And it’s even harder to ask for help. But once you do that, you start to learn.
This week I want to share a story with you. I’ll tell you about a recent time at work when I didn’t know something and asked for help. I’ll also explore how you can grow from being vulnerable. And why this behavior brings out the best in teams.
From White Screen to Solution
My task seemed simple. Replace a font in the React Native app. I’ve done this before for web apps. How hard could it be?
After reading some documentation, I felt confident in a possible solution. I swapped the fonts and went to test the app in the simulator. The splash screen loaded. And then the app went completely blank. I got the dreaded white screen of death. Somehow my changes broke the app.
I spent hours trying to resolve the issue. But I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t know how to solve the problem. And I needed help. I humbly accepted reality. I set my ego aside and asked for help.
I spent close to an hour on a call with another software engineer. I shared my screen and together we tried to get the app working. The engineer asked me if I had used the debugging tool that was part of our tech stack. I said no because I didn’t have the tool on my computer yet.
Later that day, I installed the tool. I finally saw an error message that confirmed the new font wasn’t loading. I read more documentation and discovered I had to update some config settings for the app to recognize the new font file.
I fixed the problem. I got the app to load with the new font. Success!
The Power of ‘I Don’t Know’
Most people don’t like to admit when they don’t know something. As software engineers, we’re expected to learn and remember how various languages and tools work. But the truth is this takes time. And even the best engineers forget how things work sometimes.
It takes courage to say ‘I don't know.’ You immediately enter a state of vulnerability when you say this. Your lack of knowledge is exposed. And you brace for judgment and ridicule. But with these three words comes great power. Your bravery has brought you face-to-face with the truth. And you know exactly what you need to do.
I agree with
. In software engineering, embracing uncertainty is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but it’s better than avoiding reality. And once you acknowledge that you don’t know something, you can start to learn and grow from it.No Engineer Is an Island
I don’t know any software engineer who enjoys asking for help. It’s a sign that you’re stuck and can’t solve a problem. And you’ll likely need to schedule face time with another engineer to work through it.
We all want to be self-sufficient problem solvers. We don’t want to rely on others for help or distract them from their work. But this isn’t how teams operate. And if you’re a leader, this is the wrong expectation to have for your team.
Even the best engineers on the highest-performing teams need help sometimes. We all get blocked. And we all encounter obstacles. And that’s why engineering teams exist. So they can work together to solve hard problems. And help each other out when someone says ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I need help.’
Lifting Each Other Up
I’ve worked on teams before that embraced transparency and welcomed ambiguity. Individual needs took a back seat to team demands. And we could accomplish any task together because we had the support of our team.
So the next time someone on your team says ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I need help,’ take a moment to help unblock them. Not only is this what good teammates do, but good humans do as well. Supporting each other accelerates your team’s success. And remember that someday you’ll need help too.
I can totally relate to this! I often think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but this article is a great reminder that it’s actually the opposite. Plus, sharing your struggles publicly like you did is another act of vulnerability!
Great article David! Saying "I don't know" is a sign that you have good self-awareness and self-confidence.
Love the example you wrote about. Asking for help saves a LOT of time and it doesn't make sense for you trying to figure out something that another person can give it to you in a matter of minutes or an hour. You can spend that time on something else!