How Asking Questions Deepens Your Feedback Insight
Gain clarity on feedback by asking the right questions
Listening to feedback alone won’t help you grow from it. Sometimes you have to ask questions to gain a better understanding of it.
In the past, I’ve been quick to process feedback and jump straight into next steps. When someone gave me positive feedback, I’d thank them. And tell myself to continue that behavior or action. If someone told me I needed to get better at something, I’d start brainstorming solutions.
Failing to truly understand feedback can cause you to over-index on the wrong things. Or even worse, you could neglect to see the actual value of the feedback.
Last week, I wrote about how to be grateful for feedback. Today we focus on understanding feedback.
I want to share the key details of feedback that you should focus on when receiving it. Doing this will enable you to process the feedback with a growth mindset.
👉 This is a four-part series about receiving feedback:
Part 3 - Gain understanding
Part 4 - Learn and grow
Understanding feedback details
When you receive feedback, there are a few things you should understand to maximize the potential of learning from it.
Who
It’s important to know who’s giving the feedback. Is it from your manager? Your manager’s manager? Your co-worker? Your team?
Feedback from one person versus multiple people is different. Similarly, feedback from your manager is not the same as feedback from your peers. Getting clarity on this detail will help you decide how to respond to the feedback.
What
Another key component of feedback is its sources. Is it based on one pull request or multiple? Is it feedback on your presentation? Does it relate to something you said or did in a meeting?
If you’re getting constructive feedback, you’ll want to return to the sources later. There might be something you did that you can learn from and improve.
When
Knowing the period for feedback is also essential. Is it based on one occurrence? Does the feedback span months? This information will determine the impact of the feedback and what you do next.
Why
Perhaps the most important aspect to understand about feedback is why you’re receiving it. Is it an observation? Is it related to your job duties? Is it based on your goals?
You want to avoid taking feedback too lightly which can impact your employment. On the other hand, you don’t want to overreact to minor feedback.
I’ve made both of these mistakes in my career. And this could’ve been prevented if I simply asked why.
Questions to ask
In a perfect world, every piece of feedback you get will include these details. But unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen.
Here are some questions to consider asking to gain clarity when receiving feedback.
Is this feedback from you, someone else, or multiple people?
Can you tell me specifically what this feedback is based on? I’d appreciate links to any digital sources.
Does this feedback refer to a specific occurrence or period?
Can you tell me why you’re sharing this feedback? Does it relate to my role or something we discussed?
Take your time
Keep in mind that processing feedback depends on the context and people involved. You might be able to comprehend feedback in a 30-minute meeting. Or it might take longer.
Don’t be afraid to ask for more time if you need it. It’s not a race. You might need a follow-up conversation. And that’s fine.
Before you can learn and grow from feedback, you have to take the time to understand it. Get in the habit of asking questions to gain as much insight as you can from the feedback.
Don’t settle for generic feedback. Someone telling you that you did a great or poor job on something doesn’t help you. Ask specific questions, like the ones above, so you can have a more holistic understanding of the feedback.
In the final part of this series, we’ll dive into utilizing feedback to help you grow and reach your goals.
Good points! Accepting and processing feedback can definitely be a personal challenge. It's not easy. for sure. Part of the equation is also going to be how much you trust the person giving feedback to be honest and accurate, depending on the nature of the feedback. You might also need to ask yourself: does this challenge the perception I have of myself, and does it do so in a way that seems accurate, even if unexpected? You want to examine this closely just in case you're really being bullied or gaslit, which unfortunately happens too often in the workplace.